life is a routine

Thursday, November 17, 2005

When is enough enough

When is enough enough?! I was asking myself this the other day in regards to so many events in my life this past week and a half. At the ripe old age of 24, I just had my first encounter with racism, against myself. This all started at the beginning of the year when I was most involved with a student organization. We started to discuss political issues that involved the border, this is when it all began.

These discussions would snowball into complaints about people of Mexican decent, and the telling of raciest jokes in my presence, about my heritage. I was starting to feel hurt, and a little confused, I mean are we not all attending the same university, working similar jobs, and in the same organization?! I was a little hurt, but like an idiot I did nothing, but just cry and then think that I was over reacting to the whole thing.

Then the day came, where I felt singled out, and the group intended to do this, biased on my race alone. They asked me if my grandfather and my father made honest livings in this country that was so nice to not send them back. I was crushed, these were once people who I hung out with, and who I worked side by side with on political campaigns. It seemed like I was only good enough for them when I was working to help them, but now, I saw how they were. These people have not one compassionate bone in their bodies, and I am not just saying that because I am bitter, these people didn't want hurricane Katrina Victims to stay in our dorms, just because of their race, they thought they would be more likely to commit crimes. There are so many more events that proves my point, but there is not enough time, and I don't want to say too much either.

I didn't cry this time, no, I decided to fight back maybe. I though these ideas were long gone, these ideas of superiority, but I guess not. All I want to know is when is enough enough?!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Dutchess is not here any more

Well Dutchess is gone. We put her down on Saturday morning. It was hard, and I cried all afternoon, and then some more when I got home that night. I feel empty now, like a part of my life is missing. I cant help but think she feels alone. She didnt know why she was hurting, but at least she is in a better place.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Where is Dutchess?

Dutchess is a 9 year old Schaunzer. Dutchess has always been a feisty little dog, who would growl at you if you looked at her funny. She even bit my boyfriends shoe for no good reason, just because she felt like it.

The day we got her, she chased my little brother around the house all day, knowing that he feared her. The one day it snowed down here (8 years ago) she stayed outside all day, and refused to come in until she was too cold to fight us off. Then she slept next to the fire place until she was ready to play again. Dutchess has a unique personality, a cross between a little feisty dog, and a grumpy old lady.

Dutchess and our other dog Doc are like two little kids, they will get themselves into trouble and hide from us, as if we don't know its them who did it. Like the day they tore up my brothers futon mattress. There was foam everywhere in the house, it looked like it snowed. They also chewed up our old sofa, and they would dig holes in our carpet.

I know it sounds crazy, but that stupid dog has kept me sane all these years. I couldn't wait to get home and hear what she did that day. Sometimes if it was worth a good laugh, my mom would call me at work and tell me what Dutchess did.

This week my family is faced with a hard decision. Dutchess is sick, and she has been for the past couple of months now. She had kidney stones last December, and she almost didn't survive the surgery when they were removed, but she pulled through. Now she has been sick since April, and she just seems to be getting worse. She's been keeping us up at night, and I don't mind staying up with her as much as I mind her suffering. This week we will decide based on her fourth visit to the vet, whether we should put her down or not. I don't want her to suffer, but I am also not ready to live life without her. I don't know what to think, or how I will vote in this family decision.

Friday, August 19, 2005

How religious should a 15 year old be?

How religious should a 15 year old be? That's what I often ask my self when I look at my brother, who could be viewed as a "Good Old Catholic Boy". He is truly the poster child for Catholisim, he is an alter boy, he attends mass regularly, and if you have any question about the bible, ask him, and if he doesn't know off hand, he will look it up and have an answer soon enough.

My brother is not the only "Holy Roller Teenager". My co workers niece came into the office all distressed the other day because her and her mother had gotten into an argument over an anti-abortion t-shirt that she was wearing. Apparently it was graphic and somewhat offensive, and her mother did not think she should wear this. Her interest in this just sprang out of no where, when she attended a teen retreat for a local Christian Church. She came home a changed person, and now has broken most social ties to attend church or prayer groups. Her mother was concerned that her daughter may have come home somewhat brain washed, and to be honest IM not sure what to think.

Before this comes off as being a bash on Christianity, know that its not. I was raised Catholic, and I consider myself to be a pretty devout Catholic at that. I attendee Catholic school for 9 years and am still very active in my church. I even drank my non-Catholic boyfriend to church with me almost every Sunday. This is just a thought on what they are instilling in our youth at church. I certainly don't like a teenager to point and judge me, or anyone else in the world for our life styles, when they don't understand what they are arguing yet. These "young adults" learn something in the Bible, something that was meant to be interpreted, and take it all literally. They then begin to follow blindly, for they somewhat don't fully understand the full effect of their statements or arguments.

These teens are preached abstinence and "True love waits". When I was going through confirmation classes when I was 16, they even made us wrap a heart in a box, symbolizing our virginity, and we were suppose to keep it wrapped until our wedding night. The idea was that if this box was opened before that, we were commenting a mortal sin and were going straight to hell. (The way I see it, apparently everyone I know will be there anyways) I didn't like the fact that they were preaching this to us anyways, although it is known that the Catholic Church is against sex for any other purpose other than reproduction. If every Catholic followed that, we would all either have 12+ kids, or never understand the full bond of intimacy.

Anyways back on track here, I just don't think teenagers need to be thought to be so judgmental at such a your age, especially on issues that they may not understand. They are feed this information and are expected to follow blindly, and then when they finally open their eyes, they become so disillusioned, they may never return to the church again.

As for my co-workers niece, IM not upset on her views on abortion, being raised Catholic, my stance is pretty obvious, but I'm not going to protest in front of Planned Parent Hood either, because it is just my personal opinion, and who am I to judge on something that is such a personal decision?

My Routine in life

When was the day that you looked at your life and realized that is was all routine? Everyman has a routine, even if they don't want to admit it, even people who live their life for the moment seem to have that "moment" incorporated in their routine. Ever wake up to realize that it is all routine? I mean you get up to performs all of your morning rituals, just to go wherever it is you go whether it be school, work or wherever.
Even having a significant other will fall into a routine. I think that those routines are good though. I mean it gets to the point that you call them around the same time every night (that is if you aren't with them at night). This part of our routine is what keeps me personals from going insane form everything else.

We all have patterns in our behavior, and this daily routine that our lives have become are just a human patter I belief.